Relationships-Transcript

SANDY: Hello, ‘Type For You’ Agency. Yes, can you hold the line for a moment, please? Thanks. Are you in?

JEAN: Who is it?

SANDY: Lionel Hardcastle

JEAN: I’m out.

SANDY: For long?

JEAN: Try a decade.

SANDY: Hello Mr. Hardcastle. I’m sorry, but Ms. Pargetter is out at the moment.Oh, not for long, ten years or so.

1:11

LIONEL: Ten years or so.

ALISTAIR: Bye….Li hi..Must fly.

LIONEL: Win fang ling chan.

ALISTAIR: Pardon?

LIONEL: Oh, sorry. I thought we were conducting a conversation in Chinese.

ALISTAIR: What? Oh, I see. Nice one Li. No, no. What I mean is, I’ve only got five minutes.

LIONEL: And you’re devoting them all to me. I’m touched. You’d better come in; run in might be a better idea.

ALISTAIR: Thing is Lionel, your manuscript. We love it.

LIONEL: Good.

ALISTAIR: But it isn’t quite right.

LIONEL: Oh, for goodness sake Alistair. Look, I’ve put a lot of work into that book. I’ve made all the revisions you asked for.

ALISTAIR: I know, I know, and we are thrilled.

LIONEL: You love it and you’re thrilled, but it isn’t quite right?

ALISTAIR: No.

LIONEL: So it’s bad?

ALISTAIR: No, no, no, we love it.

LIONEL: Is it me, or are we going round in circles?

ALISTAIR: Put it this way. Your manuscript, and we do love it, is there, but is not there.

LIONEL: Would it help if we went back to Chinese?

ALISTAIR: It needs…it needs…What’s the word I’m looking for?

LIONEL: Burning?

ALISTAIR: Humanizing.

LIONEL: Oh, humanizing.

ALISTAIR: Yes.

LIONEL: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Look it has people in it. I’m in it, and contrary to what some people seem to think, I am human.

ALISTAIR: yes, but not in the book. You’re a cypher. All the people in the book are cyphers. They need to be…they need to be people.

LIONEL: The people in the book need to be people?

ALISTAIR: You’ve go it.

LIONEL: Are you sure?

ALISTAIR: Look, it won’t take a lot more work, Lionel. One last push and we have a book. We have real chances. We could ultimately be talking about screen rights. You could be play Robert Redford.

LIONEL: Robert Red…Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?

ALISTAIR: Well, listen mate, if you don’t get ahead of yourself in this business, you’ll find yourself finishing up where you started out in the first place.

LIONEL: I’ll have to think about that one, but this humanizing.

ALISTAIR: Look, it won’t take you long, maybe a week. But it will be worth it, Lionel. It will pay off, I promise it will.

LIONEL: Oh, all right, I’ll try.

ALISTAIR: Good man. Oh, as long as I’m here, there’s a bit of personal biz I’d like to clear up.

LIONEL: Personal biz?

ALISTAIR: Yes. Jean.

LIONEL: What about her?

ALISTAIR: I’ll lay on the line. Would I be stepping on any toes?

LIONEL: Could you lay it on another line?

ALISTAIR: I fancy her like crazy.

LIONEL: Do you?

ALISTAIR: Yes. I know what you’re going to say. I’m too young.

LIONEL: No, I was going to say she’s too old, but it’s the same thing I suppose. Not that it’s any of my business.

ALISTAIR: Now that’s what I wanted to hear. I wouldn’t be stepping on your toes?

LIONEL: It’s a free-ish country.

ALISTAIR: Right. I like that. Free-ish. Can I use it?

LIONEL: Feel free-ish.

ALISTAIR: See you then, mate. Oh, and remember, push, push and humanize.

LIONEL: Push, push and humanize.

ALISTAIR: Bye Li.

LIONEL: Bye, bye Alistair. Robert Redford.

JEAN: Oh, Paul that’s excellent. Yes.Well, bike the contract round to me as soon as possible and I’ll sign it straight away. Oh, lovely. Thanks Paul. Bye.

JUDY: These have just come for you.

JEAN: We’ve got the premises in Brompton Road. My signature on the contract and they’re ours.

JUDY: Good. These came for you.

JEAN: Yes.

JUDY: They’re flowers.

JEAN: Yes, green stalks with colored bits on the end, I can see that. We’ve got a new branch!

JUDY: What do you want me to do, turn cartwheels?

JEAN: Well, be glad for me. All the work I’ve put into this agency. It’s paying off. We’re getting somewhere.

JUDY: I am glad for you, you deserve it. But why aren’t you getting excited with getting flowers?

JEAN: Well, they’re probably a business thank you. Somebody said to their secretary, they did a good job. Send them a thank you letter. No, it’s a woman, send her flowers.

JUDY: Well, what would you prefer, a box of cigars? They don’t have a be a business thing. They could be from Lionel.

JEAN: Why would Lionel send me flowers?

JUDY: You were in love, mum.

JEAN: That was 38 years ago. They can’t have taken that long to arrive.

JUDY: Perhaps they’re a new thought.

JEAN: He’s got a new thought. We met her in Norwich.

JUDY: Well, perhaps he’s apologizing?

JEAN: He’s nothing to apologize for. If he chooses to spend the night with a loud mouthed, overblown bit of stuff, that’s his business.

JUDY: I bet they are from Lionel.

JEAN: I bet you a lunch they’re a business thank you.

JUDY: I bet you a lunch they’re from Lionel.

JEAN: They’re from Alistair.

JUDY: I see.

JEAN: It is a sort of business thank you. I mean, after all we put the manuscript in order for him.

JUDY: Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety. A business thank you? From Alistair to Cleopatra?

JEAN: You have can have them.

JUDY: No, I’m not Cleopatra.

JEAN: Neither am I.

JUDY: Alistair obviously thinks you are.

JEAN: Then he needs stronger lenses.

JUDY: Look, it’s your own fault.

JEAN: What is?

JUDY: These are. You practically vamped him when we were in Norwich.

JEAN: Vamped.

JUDY: Yes you were all over him. Oh, yes, Alistair. I’d like to have a nightcap at the hotel, Alistair. Goo-goo eyes the lot. Just because Lionel turned up with his local bit of stuff.

JEAN: Well, I was piqued. I resent vamped.

JUDY: Well, Alistair obviously went for it.

JEAN: Yes, he did, didn’t he?

JUDY: Don’t look so smug.

JEAN: Well, it’s a bit of boost isn’t it? I mean, here I am, on the verge of getting a tight perm and taking a coach outing to Worthing and an attractive young man sends me flowers.

JUDY: I find that rather tacky.

JEAN: 	You like Alistair, don’t you?

JUDY: He’s all right. Hello, Judith Hanson.

JEAN: Oh, hello, Alistair. Mum? No, she’s at the chiropodist. No, no, no, it’s nothing serious, just her weekly visit to have her corns seen to.

7:37

HOTEL CLERK: Mr. Hardcastle. How nice you have you with us again.

LIONEL: I can’t stay away.

HOTEL CLERK: You’ll be staying for…?

LIONEL: Don’t worry. A short a time as possible. I’ll need somewhere to work. Is that room I used before free?

HOTEL CLERK: Room, sir? Do you mean the Anson Suite?

LIONEL: It’s a room.

HOTEL CLERK: We call it the Anson Suite.

LIONEL: I see. What do you call the room you’re giving me to sleep in?

HOTEL CLERK: Room 405, sir.

LIONEL: Doesn’t have the same ring, does it?

HOTEL CLERK: We could offer you a junior suite, sir.

LIONEL: Does that have child sized furniture?

HOTEL CLERK: It has a small sitting room and a complimentary bowl of fruit.

LIONEL: Bath towels actually big enough to dry yourself on?

HOTEL CLERK: Our standard bath towels, sir.

LIONEL: I’ll have the room and the Anson Suite.

HOTEL CLERK: Very good, sir. Do enjoy your stay with us.

LIONEL: You missed me, didn’t you?

HOTEL CLERK: Terribly.

8:45

LIONEL: Hello, Sandy.

SANDY: Oh, hello Mr. Hardcastle.

LIONEL: She, uh…?

SANDY: She’s out.

LIONEL: You’re the one who informed me that Ms. Pargetter would’t be in the office for ten years.

SANDY: I just do as I’m told.

LIONEL: Mmmm. I’ll wait.

SANDY: Ms. Pargetter is out.

LIONEL: So you said.

SANDY: Lovely, aren’t they?

LIONEL: I stole these from a cemetery.When will she be back? And don’t say ten years.

SANDY: She’s a very woman. Those are from your publisher by the way.

LIONEL: Really? Your are very sweet, too.

SANDY: Thank you. Would you like them?

LIONEL: No, thank you. Ah…

JEAN: Oh. It’s you.

LIONEL: Yes, it is.

SANDY: Mr. Hardcastle insisted on waiting. He’s brought you some lovely flowers.

LIONEL: Perhaps you could find an inkwell to put them in.

JEAN: They’re sweet. Those are from Alistair…

LIONEL: I know. How was your nightcap in Norwich?

JEAN: Rather flatting to tell the truth. How was your overnight accommodation?

LIONEL: She slung me out. I don’t see how you can be flattered by the attentions of a twelve year old boy.

JEAN: Don’t you?

LIONEL: No, I don’t. What funny?

JEAN: You being slung out.

LIONEL: He’s not exactly what you’d call a well rounded character is he, Alistair?

JEAN: Who say I’m interested in well rounded characters?

LIONEL: He’s an intellectual vacuum.

JEAN: Good looking.

LIONEL: I didn’t know you were coming to Norwich, you see. Why did you come anyway?

JEAN: To hear your lecture. What if you had known?

LIONEL: Well, I only knew Denise on and off you know.

JEAN: You could have phrased that more delicately. And if you think Alistair is an intellectual vacuum, then Denise must rank as an intellectual black hole.

LIONEL: Must have.

JEAN: What?

LIONEL: Must have ranked. I shan’t be seeing her again.

JEAN: Oh. Send her some flowers.

LIONEL: You’re very flippant today.

JEAN: I’ve acquired a new branch office.

LIONEL: Oh, congratulations.

JEAN: Thank you.

LIONEL: Do you really think he’s good looking?

JEAN: Yes.

LIONEL: Strange taste.

JEAN: I thought you were good looking.

LIONEL: Did you?

JEAN: Yes.

LIONEL: Well, yes, I suppose I was. Anyway, about Alistair, it’s because of him I’m here really.

JEAN: What do you mean?

LIONEL: The book.

JEAN: Oh.

LIONEL: I’ve got to do more damned revisions.

JEAN: Oh, and you need secretarial assistance?

LIONEL: I’m back at the hotel, so it’s all terribly proper. Could I have Sandy?

JEAN: She’s my secretary.

LIONEL: I know, but I like her?

JEAN: Does she like you?

LIONEL: I shouldn’t think so. We get on.

JEAN: I’ll ask her.

LIONEL: Tell her.

JEAN: Ask!

11:41

SANDY: Yes, all right. Why not? I’m battle hardened now.

JEAN: I’ll send someone else if you’d like.

SANDY: No. I like him.

JEAN: Why?

SANDY: Well, that’s a funny question coming from you. You were in love with him, weren’t you?

JEAN: Oh, Judith’s been chattering?

SANDY: Well, weren’t you?

JEAN: Well, it was a long time ago. I wasn’t in love long enough to know whether I really liked him.

SANDY: Well, I do. I shouldn’t really, because I don’t think he likes me at all.

JEAN: Well, off you go then. You two have the basis for a really beautiful friendship.

12:14

LIONEL: Page 37, I refer to a Colonel Austin.

SANDY: Yes.

LIONEL: I describe him as tall.

SANDY: True.

LIONEL: Right, now then add with a mustache.

SANDY: What sort of a mustache?

LIONEL: I don’t know…a mustache. You know, hair on the upper lip.

SANDY: Tall with a mustache.

LIONEL: Correct, next…

SANDY: What about his wife?

LIONEL: What about his wife?

SANDY: Did she have a mustache?

LIONEL: Of course she didn’t. Are you being facetious?

SANDY: No. It’s just that you don’t describe her at all. She’s just a blob. Colonel Austin’s wife. Poor woman.

LIONEL: Well, she won’t mind. She must be dead by now.

SANDY: You were the one who decided to describe everybody.

LIONEL: All right, all right. Colonel Austin’s wife…I can’t remember what she looked like.

SANDY: Invent. Poetic license.

LIONEL: This isn’t a work of fiction.

SANDY: I think you should say something.

LIONEL: All right. Colonel Austin’s wife, who I don’t remember very well.

SANDY: You can put that.

LIONEL: Then put, Colonel Austin’s wife a blob.

SANDY: You’re not enjoying this, are you?

LIONEL: Well, is it worth it? It’s just a book. I wrote it. Alistair talked about publishing it. Now, all I get is we love it, but will you keep mucking about with it?

SANDY: Well, think of it as polishing a diamond.

LIONEL: That really does require a leap of the imagination doesn’t it? Where were we?

SANDY: You’d just described Colonel Austin’s wife as a blob.

LIONEL: Leave her for bit. Oh, leave it all for a bit.

SANDY: Look, I hate to sound like a hooker, but you are paying for my time.

LIONEL: Let’s assume I’m resting between bouts of ecstasy.

SANDY: Would you like a mint.

LIONEL: No, thank you.

SANDY: Ms. Pargetter.

LIONEL: What about her?

SANDY: What was she like when you first met her?

LIONEL: Young.

SANDY: Go on.

LIONEL: There was a warmth about her. Oh, she had a temper. Her eyes could go quite flinty, but she had that rarest of qualities, the ability to forgive without a hint of rancor. But she never tried to be anything. She was someone you never wanted to hurt…I remember once…

SANDY: Yes?

LIONEL: And she was short.

SANDY: Funny.

LIONEL: What is?

SANDY: Well, you got almost poetic there, and all you can remember of Colonel Austin’s wife, many years later, is that she was just a blob.

LIONEL: I didn’t share the same experience with Mrs. Austin.

SANDY: Makes a difference?

LIONEL: Well, obviously it makes a difference.

SANDY: Anything else?

LIONEL: Shall we get on?

SANDY: Whenever you like.

LIONEL: Page…If Alistair hadn’t mentioned a film, I’d burn this lot.

SANDY: Tons of money in a film.

LIONEL: I know. He talked about Robert Redford playing me. All right, he tends to get carried away. It is absurd.

SANDY: Of course it is. Anyway, he’s too old.

LIONEL: Oh, do you think so?

SANDY: Yes. You’re a young man at the start of the book.

LIONEL: We’re not getting on.

SANDY: I thought you were resting between bouts of ecstasy?

LIONEL: I’m resting between bouts of bewilderment. I mean look at it. My Life in Kenya. Make a film of it? I can’t even make a book out of it. Bloody publishers!

SANDY: Well, that wasn’t very clever, was it?

LIONEL: Well, I don’t feel very clever.

JEAN: How did it go?

LIONEL: Oh.

JEAN: Ah. It can’t have been a gust of wind. So it must have been a fit of pique.

LIONEL: Well, I’m fed up with it. What are you doing here anyway?

JEAN: I just popped in to see how everything was going.

SANDY: That just about says it really. Well, come on.

LIONEL: Well you’re the secretary.

SANDY: You threw the papers on the floor.

JEAN: Well, what’s the problem, apart from a bad temper?

LIONEL: Well, this humanizing business. Alistair thought if I described the characters more fully…

JEAN: That sounds like a good idea.

SANDY: Only he can’t.

LIONEL: Just because I can’t remember what Colonel Austin’s wife looked like…

SANDY: It’s not her. Those you have described are rather like the description you get on a passport. They come out as either short people or tall people.

LIONEL: Well, people are either short or tall.

JEAN: Unless they’re of medium height.

LIONEL: You don’t have to stay.

JEAN: I can’t. I’ve got a lunch.

SANDY: One person he described beautifully and she’s not even in the book.

JEAN: Who was that?

SANDY: You.

JEAN: I see.

SANDY: You came up in the conversation.

JEAN: Why?

SANDY: It was my fault.

LIONEL: There you are.

JEAN: It was never your forte, gallantry, was it?

LIONEL: The way I feel at the moment, I don’t have a forte of any kind at all.

JEAN: Oh, look, you can’t give up now.

SANDY: Well, perhaps if you help?

JEAN: Me? I don’t know anything about humanizing. Ask Alistair.

LIONEL: I’m not crawling back to him. He told me what he wanted. If I go back and say I don’t even know what he’s talking about, I’m going to look like a silly old fool aren’t I?

JEAN: Oh, well, I’ve got to go to lunch. Oh, look, Lionel, would you like tot come round to my house this evening, and I’ll try and help.

LIONEL: I wouldn’t want to be a nuisance.

JEAN: Don’t go humble, it doesn’t suit you. Eightish?

LIONEL: Thanks.

JEAN: Don’t bother to get up.

SANDY: This is going to take hours.

LIONEL: Oh, bugger it, let’s have some lunch.

SANDY: I don’t usually lunch with clients.

LIONEL: Think of me as a sinking ship.

SANDY: Oh, that’s all right. I always have lunch with sinking ships.

LIONEL: Do you think we could have it on the floor? I’ve stiffened up.

18:09

JUDY: I’ll go.

JEAN: Are you decent?

JUDY: Incredibly. Hello, Lionel.

LIONEL: Hello, Judith. Oh, going out?

JEAN: Hello?

LIONEL: She always open the door like that?

JEAN: Like what?

LIONEL: So quickly. I mean, most people have a quick peer out first. She just flings it wide open.

JEAN: I never thought of it.

LIONEL: Something to do with body language I suppose.

JEAN: Do you know much about body language?

LIONEL: Very inhibiting, I know that. You end up quite unable to sit comfortably without making it either a sexual invitation or rebuff.

JEAN: Do sit down. What’s that?

LIONEL: Oh…oh, this is gratitude.

JEAN: Oh.

LIONEL: I brought you these.

JEAN: Oh, thank you.

LIONEL: Don’t tell me, Alistair.

JEAN: It’s getting silly, isn’t it?

LIONEL: You should have never encouraged him.

JEAN: Oh, don’t let’s start that again.

LIONEL: No.

JEAN: Have you eaten?

LIONEL: Well, I tried a club sandwich at the hotel, but it tasted as though it had been made during the blitz.

JEAN: Scrambled egg all right?

LIONEL: Excellent. I should hav brought a bottle of wine, but I suppose you’ve already got a few cases from Alistair.

JEAN: Only a couple.

JUDY: I think the box is garish anyway.

LIONEL: Oh, big though.

JUDY: Yes. Do I look all right?

LIONEL: Very good indeed.

JUDY: I don’t like my body.

LIONEL: I’ve never met a woman who does. I do, for what it’s worth.

JUDY: Thank you. Mum will never eat all those. there must be half a hundredweight there.

LIONEL: He should be sending them to you really. Ah. Indelicate?

JUDY: Stupid. No, no, not you, me. If mum’s in the same room, I might as well be wallpaper to Alistair. Plain wallpaper.

LIONEL: What is it about this man? I just think he’s a silly little twerp who can’t even speak english.

JUDY: No, he’s very clever actually. He’s good looking, funny, well-off, successful.

LIONEL: Well, if you’re going to go for the obvious. Where are you going tonight?

JUDY: I am eating with a crowd.

LIONEL: Less than a thousand.

JUDY: Seven or nine. It has to be an odd number to include me, you see.Twice divorced, lives with her mother. Good sport and not really a threat.

LIONEL: If that’s what the women in the party think, then they don’t have eyes.

JUDY: What a nice thing to say.

LIONEL: It’s not like me. I must be mellowing.

JUDY: I must be going. Bye mum.

JEAN: Have a nice time.

JUDY: I must go.

LIONEL: Go on then. Be a threat.

JUDY: Goodbye.

JEAN: Bye bye. Look, I hope they’re scrambled and not beaten to death.

LIONEL: Thank you. I’ve never tasted your cooking.

JEAN: If you’d said that to me 38 years ago, I’d have been a nervous wreck.

LIONEL: Hmmm…It’s very good.

JEAN: Then I’d have glowed.

LIONEL: Then I’d have thought, ‘My god, she can cook as well.’

JEAN: Then, then, then.

LIONEL: Yes.

JEAN: Let’s have some wine.

LIONEL: It’s not really Alistair’s is it?

JEAN: What if it were.

LIONEL: I’d still drink it. I’d pull a lot of faces though.

21:34

JEAN: Well, it’s no good sulking.

LIONEL: I’m not sulking. I’m quite capable of accepting constructive criticism.

JEAN: Look, all I said was that the book came across to me like something between a handbook for growing coffee bean and guide to Kenya.

LIONEL: And that’s constructive is it?

JEAN: Yes! It doesn’t reveal anything about the author. ‘My Life in Kenya’ it’s called.

LIONEL: And that’s a boring title?

JEAN: Agreed. But while it is the title, who is the me in my?

LIONEL: Well, me obviously.

JEAN: Well, then let your readers know about it. Let them know who you are. Drop a veil or two.

LIONEL: I’m not a belly dancer. What I’m like is not my readers’ business.

JEAN: You don’t have any readers. The book won’t be published unless you open up a bit.

LIONEL: All right, give me an example.

JEAN: Your wife.

LIONEL: You didn’t even flick through the pages.

JEAN: Well, she just sprang to mind.

LIONEL: Why?

JEAN: Well, as an example. You meet her, you marry, you live together and then you divorced.

LIONEL: Well, we did.

JEAN: But it’s so colorless.

LIONEL: It was.

JEAN: Do you want me to help you or not?

LIONEL: Oh, let’s watch television. All right, yes I do.

JEAN: Right. Why did you marry her?

LIONEL: Because she was there I suppose.

JEAN: You make her sound like Everest.

LIONEL: Well, she was tall. Willowy or bony, depending on which way you looked at it. Not a laugher. The daughter of my neighbors 30 miles away along a bum numbing track. The only single girl for miles.

JEAN: You were lonely.

LIONEL: Yes, I’d started talking to the dogs a lot. So I’d used to drive over on a Sunday. We’d have tea, go for a stroll in the garden and then I’d numb my bum again for 30 miles and get home. And do you know, ever time I got back home, I remembered her as much prettier than when I left her.

JEAN: I’d have to say that she probably felt the same about you.

LIONEL: Oh, I’m quite sure she did. So I got married, saved the traveling.

JEAN: Pretty steam stuff, isn’t it?

LIONEL: That’s what I mean. You should be in the first chapter.

JEAN: I wasn’t ever in Africa.

LIONEL: No, but if it’s steam you’re talking, we could have powered several locomotives you know.

JEAN: It seems funny now.

LIONEL: Absurd.

JEAN: Why did you divorce?

LIONEL: New roads. More brits immigrating. Social life tweaked up a notch.

JEAN: Someone else found her willowy?

LIONEL: No, I found somebody rounded.

JEAN: Oh.

LIONEL: Well, I’m not a saint.

JEAN: I never thought you were.

LIONEL: What about you?

JEAN: Oh, I’ve had my moments.

LIONEL: No, I meant, why did you marry?

JEAN: Well, not to save my bum from getting sore. And not because he was there.

LIONEL: Love?

JEAN: Obviously.

LIONEL: It’s not obvious at all.

JEAN: Well, it was.

LIONEL: Good.

JEAN: I wonder what happened to that letter.

LIONEL: What letter?

JEAN: You lose the thread of the conversation quickly these days, don’t you? The letter you wrote to me when you were posted to Korea.

LIONEL: The one you never received.

JEAN: Yes. It was a physical pain not hearing from you.

LIONEL: It was worse for me, not hearing back.

JEAN: Oh, don’t let’s not make a competition out of it.

LIONEL: No. I suppose we thought we were the only two young people with broken hearts in the world.

JEAN: It was horrible.

LIONEL: If only you’d got the letter.

JEAN: If only I’d got the letter. I often wondered whether you’d been killed.

LIONEL: I was kicked by a mule.

JEAN: Yes, you told me.

LIONEL: Oh my god, I’m starting to repeat myself.

JEAN: No, not quite. You said you were nearly kicked by a mule.

LIONEL: Oh no, he did catch me. A sort of glancing blow.

JEAN: Was it an enemy mule.

LIONEL: No, one of ours.

JEAN: Oh, good.

LIONEL: There’s a little scar there somewhere.

JEAN: Really, where?

LIONEL: Oh, I don’t know. Somewhere there.

JEAN: I can’t see it.

LIONEL: Well, put your glasses on.

JEAN: Well it’s your war wound. You ought to know where it is.

LIONEL: There. Just there.

JEAN: Oh, yes.

LIONEL: That’s nice.

JEAN: It’s yesterday

LIONEL: I know, but it’s nice.

JEAN: It’s only me.

LIONEL: Hello.

JEAN: Hello.

JUDY: I was a threat. Goodnight mum, goodnight Lionel.

LIONEL: Goodnight.

JEAN: What did she mean?

LIONEL: Oh, nothing.

JEAN: Judy. Judy.

JUDY: What?

JEAN: What do you mean, you were a threat?

JUDY: Oh, it was something Lionel said to me.

JEAN: Oh?

JUDY: We were talking about Alistair.

JEAN: Oh, look love, about Alistair.

JUDY: You don’t have to worry about him anymore. I was thinking about him at dinner tonight.

JEAN: While you were being a threat?

JUDY: And I suddenly got him in perspective. He’s nice enough, but, well it’s all just glitz really.

JEAN: Oh good.

JUDY: Whereas Lionel, he made me feel better about myself in two minutes tonight than someone like Alistair could do in two years.

JEAN: The wisdom of the ancients.

JUDY: He’s not ancient. I think he’s gorgeous.

LIONEL: Is everything all right?

JEAN: Everything’s fine, gorgeous.